Of all of the crappy situations he'd been in...
Being tied onto stakes along with three idiots (Well, two...Mitsuki was tolerable) in an uncharted...dimension/world/whatever-it-was had to have been the worst.
There had to be a way out of...Wait, yes there was!
"Don't give in, Akibarangers!" Nobuo shouts, struggling through his ever-moving bonds. "An event flag WILL trigger!"
"Oh, puh-lease." Shouts Malshina from the front of the Infected pack. "I've taken all of your toys and I'm not going to say anything cliche to help you. Your'e all screwed over."
"We're just gonna ignore the Zelda reference that happened two minutes ago, aren't we?" Yumeria asks.
"Yes, we are." Say Nobuo and Malshina in unison.
She was wrong. She HAD taken Don's Gokai Buckle, but he always kept his Ranger Key inside of his pocket for cases like this. All of that accounting to detail had paid off. He was even tied with his hand side-to-side like the others. This would work, hopefully. Don slowly and carefully began to move his left hand down his rope-bonds and into his left pocket. Gah! He was short by less than an inch! But if he wanted to get out of this...
Yumeria looks at Don with a confused face until she stretches her head slightly. After a second, her eyes light up as she gets what's going on.
Oh, crap! Don't mention it, don't mention it, don't-
To Don's surprise, she remains serious as Don's middle finger finally touches the edge of the Key. Now it was just a matter of getting a two-finger grasp on it and...
Yes! Now to slowly pull it out.
"Here we are." Malshina says.
The four look to see the building in the central area.
The name of the company is conveniently moved upwards past the screen, making it illegible. Many other stakes (Complete with tied cosplayers) are arranged around the entrance to the building's doors. Ranging from A Chun-Li dresser to someone in what looks like a frog-suit, all of them are crying out for help.
As the Akibarangers' stakes are stood up onto the ground, Don's is plopped right next to theirs. Unfortunately, the force coming from the massive object's movements causes Don to lose his grip on the Ranger Key as it slides back into his pocket.
"Aw, c'mon, damn it!" Don thinks to himself.
"Ok, in about twenty minutes, we'll begin the roasting." Malshina says. "Where is the Action Commander?"
One of the Shatieeks runs up to Malshina, whispering into her ear in odd gibberish. "Okay, that's fine. We can't do this without him."
"Aha! Event Flag!" Nobuo shouts. "That gives us time!"
"To do what? Struggle?" Malshina says. "Do it all you want...I'm enjoying this, to be honest."
"I kind of am, too..." Yumeria says sheepishly.
At that moment, an odd drawing-like image of Nobuo struggling shirtless appears in her mind.
"Now's not the time for 'rotten' fantasies!" Mitsuki yells at her cohort.
"Ugh, don't remind me..." Nobuo says.
At last! Don had gotten a grip on the Key again, and it was just...about...out!
"I have to be careful about this..." Don thinks.
The rope was tied into a three-layer arrangement, so he'd have to cut one at a time.
At that moment, something else falls from the sky. Upon landing, the camera zooms in on it.
The monster had a red jumpsuit on, complete with an odd red hat. One could compare it to a fireman. Well, a fireman one would see in an acid trip, but still, a fireman.
"Ah, Fire Android. Took you long enough." Malshina says. "Looks like we can just start now, then."
"Fire Android?" Nobuo asks. "What happened to the overtly long and complicated names of episodes past? Plus, that name's kinda bland..."
"Do you have any idea how hard it is to type up business cards for idiots with names that long? Much less with a dead copier! And yes, I know...But I was running out of ideas and pop culture references to piggy-back on." Malshina retorts. "I guess I got the habit from Doctor Z...Speaking of which, whatever happened to him?"
"Last I checked, he moved to another province to resume his science career." Nobuo says casually. "Hakase hasn't mentioned him and he hasn't made any cameos yet, so..."
"Oh, ok." Malshina says. "No wonder I couldn't contact him. Thanks."
"No prob." Replies Nobuo.
As Don slowly cut the ropes containing him, he had to think to himself about the fact that Nobuo just entered into a casual conversation with the person that's trying to kill him and his friends. But for some strange reason, he wasn't surprised anymore...And, there went the second layer.
"Ok, Fire Android. Let's burn the Official Sentai, first." Malshina says. "I wanna see the Akibarangers' faces as their beliefs die before their eyes."
Back to the Gokaigers...Well, two of them anyway...
The two finally stop, as Luka and Gai catch their breaths after running so far. Gai's Silver armor also dissipates.
"What was that about, Miss Luka?" Gai asks.
"That face...It looked like my sister Fia..." Luka says.
"But, didn't she...?" Gai starts.
"Yeah, she died a long time ago." Luka says. "But why HER face? Especially on something so hideous? I KNOW it isn't her, but I couldn't help myself..."
"I understand that..." Gai says. "If any of YOUR faces were ever used on an enemy monsters, I'd've gotten scared, too."
Luka wanted to ask Gai if he had any family of his own, but something in her mind told her to keep her mouth shut.
"But that face can't be a weakness." Gai says. "It doesn't quite apply, but it reminds me of Oh-Ranger, when Bara Clothes used brainwashing armor on the OhRangers. OhYellow had to struggle against her friends, even attacking them, in order to get rid of Bara's control. She didn't want to hurt them, but she HAD to in order to save the day. Now, your sister died years ago, but even if you see her face, you can't let it stop you from doing the greater good here. Am I making sense?"
"Your advice is kinda mixed up, but I get the general idea." Luka says playfully. "I appreciate it."
"I'm gonna go help the others. I'll understand if you stay behind." Gai says.
"No." Luka says. "My sister will not conquer me. She'll always be up here."
Luka points to her brain.
While the two of them trade heartfelt words, the remaining Gokaigers trade blows with the odd creature.
The creature at this point is now wise to their plans, and is attacking them from the air to keep her weak spot safe.
"Nice try, Gokaigers!" She shouts. "But you won't stop me!"
"Those fins keep moving!" Red shouts.
It begins to aim it's fins at Marvelous, slashing at the air with terrible speed. However, just before they reach Red, bullets come flying from a source in the background, causing the monster to immediately drop to the floor.
Into the room walk Gokais Yellow and Silver, re-morphed. Yellow's gun is pointed at the fins, showing her as the shooter.
"Sorry, I had a girl moment." Luka says. "If your'e gonna do the Wave, do it now!"
"Fine, but your'e leading off." Red says knowingly. "You made the mess, after all."
"Fine..." Yellow replies grudgingly.
With it's main weapon out of commission, the monster begins crawling towards Luka desperately as the Gokaiger line up.
The scene shifts to a cosmic background, as the Gokaigers remain in their Line formation, (Silver is absent) all the while preparing a sword slash. Gokai Yellow stands in the center, swinging her right Gokai Sabre around in her trademark circular motion. The Gokaigers insert their Ranger Keys into the center of the Sabres, as the swords begin to glow the individual Ranger's color.
The Gokaigers slash with impunity as colored shockwaves extend from the Sabres, rushing towards the enemy with terrible speed. Yellow's leads the charge, as the other four combine with Yellow's to hasten the speed even further.
The attack hits as the scene returns to the original battlefield, causing the monster to keel over.
And with that, the monster explodes into a burst of flame, as the Gokaigers turn to face the screen; the fight finally over.
Soon after the Gokaigers unmorph, Laundari walks into the room; carrying two massive barrels about twice his size. Dropping them in front of Captain Marvelous, he looks the Captain straight in the eye.
"We never thought she would be a spy for the Dai-SSSZangyack." He says. "SSSshe always ssseemed sort of sssussspiciousss, too. Since you basically sssaved our ssstation from what could've been a catassstrophe, i'll cut your cosssst in half. One Thoussssand Zaginssss, pleasssse."
Marvelous takes out a wallet, retrieving the green notes that is the cosmos' current currency.
The Lizard reaches out to take it, but Marvelous moves it out of his reach.
"I want to know what the Dai-Zangyack is." Marvelous says.
"Very well; but the Zaginssss firsssst."
Marvelous drops the money into the alien's hand as it counts the profits.
"Dai-SSSZangyack is what was left of the Empire..." Laundari says. "At first, they were ssssimply radicalsss hoping to keep the fear of SSSZangyack alive; but they have developed through the financial contributionsss of an unknown employer. They actually want to resssurrect the Emperor and re-establish the ssstatusss quo. That'ssss all I know."
"Why would they want to revive Ackdos Gill?" Joe asks.
"I am unssssure." Says the alien."I have ssssaid enough already. Good day to you."
The lizard pockets his earnings, immediately running out of the room as though it was on fire.
"Well, things just got a bit more interesting, huh?"
Back to the Akibarangers...
"Come on, come on!" Don thinks to himself as he begins cutting more rapidly. His heart was running two marathons at once as the monster went towards him, two hands appearing to look like fire-hoses aimed right at him.
Just as fire began spewing from the hose-hands did the rope come apart, as Don fall to the ground, rolling to the monsters right. Instead of moving to Don immediately, it just kept burning the abandoned stake. It wasn't that bright. Good. Don could use that!
"He's getting away, you fool!" Malshina shouts. "Move!"
The android finally realizes what's going on, moving it's hands towards Don.
"You can't run at this point, Sentai." Malshina says. "It'll be quick."
"It will, but not for me!" Don shouts. Running away from the fire-spewing monster, he quickly grabs Malshina before she can react....
"D-Don't touch me, you-!"
...pushing her into the monster itself. (He wasn't a killer, or he'd have pushed her into the fire instead!)
This causes the two villains, as well as the morphing figurines of the Akibarangers, to fall to the ground.
"Get us out, quick!" Nobuo shouts.
Don runs up to Nobuo's stake, quickly cutting the ropes with the jagged end of his Ranger Key. With his arms fully freed, he could cut much faster, thus freeing Nobuo in less than a minute.
Nobuo jumps straight for his Moe Moe Z-Cune while Don frees Yumeria from her bonds.
"Nice thinking, nya!" Yumeria shouts as she returns to a standing position, catching her Z-Cune, thrown to her by Nobuo from off-screen.
Malshina finally gets back up, turning back around to help the Android up.
"Hunk of junk!" She shouts.
Don frees Mitsuki as she nods to Don in thanks, also catching her Z-Cune.
"Free the cosplayers!" Nobuo says. "We'll handle these two!"
Don nods, as the camera pans to the Akibarangers.
The three perform a Henshin pose as they hold the Z-Cunes with both hands.
The gun portions of the figurines close as the scene transitions to a three-way split-screen. The Akibarangers' armor engulfs their users from the toes up; finally covering the heads in anime-styled helmets, the final touch being the Akibaranger logo stamping itself onto the Sentais' chests.
"Do we need a proper roll call yet?" Akiba Yellow asks.
"Nah, not this early into the movie; let's save it for something more memorable." Red says. "Pain is strength!!!!!"
The Sentai finally pose as Akiba Red spreads his arms outwards, while Yellow enters a flirtatious/funny pose to his right and Akiba Blue performs a Martial Arts Stance to his left.
Don hoped they were more competent in battle than they were in real life......
Akiba Red immediately rushes in punching the robot with his right hand.
He stops for a second, before clutching his wrist in pain.
"I-It's as hard as stone!" He shouts.
....His expectations were just getting lower and lower.
Akiba Yellow attempts a drop-kick from behind Red, only for her foot to hit the robot's skin. Cue her jumping up and down, clutching her foot.
Akiba Blue places her hand to her chest.
"Inordinate Power! Bouken Scooper!"
After that, a shovel materializes right in front of Blue, as the Sentai picks it up, rushing at the Fire Android with it.
She launches attack after attack at it's skin, only for the weapon to have no effect. After a third strike, the Robot releases fire from one of it's Hose-arms, sending Blue sprawling backwards and onto the ground.
"It probably has a weak point somewhere!" Don shouts casually as he cuts loose the Naruto-dresser.
"Yeah, okay, thanks." Red says sarcastically. "As if we didn't already know that..."
"I modified the Fire Android myself." Malshina says, chuckling. "It HAS no known weak point. I don't even know of any!"
"Wait....Aren't you supposed to be attacking Don cause he's freeing the hostages?" Red asks.
"Damn it, Akagi-san!" Don shouts.
"Meh." Malshina says. "I don't really care about them anymore."
"That's new, nya." Yellow says, struggling to pin the right Hose-Arm down.
"Yeah." Malshina says casually. "I'm trying to avoid villain event flags and tropes. Really helps me out."
Akiba Red stares the monster down as he dodges more fire from the hose-arms.
"First things first, let's get rid of those hoses." Red says, putting his hand to his chest. "Inordinate Power! Deka Cuffs!"
A pair of massive handcuffs appears in front of Red as he takes the cuffs in hand.
Rushing straight in, Akiba Red whacks at the left Hose-arm with the Deka Cuffs.
As expected, it does nothing, as the Android smacks Akiba Red with the arm, knocking him to the ground.
"Hey, of course!" Akiba Red says. "The Dekarangers always had handcuffs on them to arrest criminals with! Maybe we can try the same thing!"
Red stands upright, holding the cuffs with two hands.
"Time to try something new! Cuffs open!"
Obeying the Akibaranger's command, the cuffs changes from a solid weapon to a stretchy, limp object (Again, mind out of the gutter, now!) with a black rod separating the two sides of the cuffs from each other.
Lunging them at the Android, the right cuff portion clomps onto the left Hose-arm.
Akiba Red rushes at the other arm, pushing Akiba Yellow out of the way with a free hand before the other cuff attaches itself to the remaining arm.
"Hey, watch it, Nya!" Yellow yells from the background as the Akibarangers re-group.
The Android struggles to remove it's arms from the handcuffs, with even Malshina futilely attempting to pull them off.
"Should we use the Inordinate Cannon now?" Blue asks.
"I dunno." Red says, putting his hand to his chin in philosophical thought. "Should we subvert Sentai Tropes by just attacking now, or wait until we make an actual weak point and then aim at that?"
"We ARE Unofficial, nya." Yellow says. "Why don't we?"
"But it'll be empty." Red says. "It'll have no feeling of victory."
"He's got a point there." Says Blue." It won't be satisfying."
Don was mortified. Was this happening? Was this actually happening? They had the enemy cornered and all they could do was debate Sentai mannerisms?!
"ATTACK THE DAMN THING ALREADY!" Don yells from the background.
No sooner does the boy yells....
The camera pans to show the Deka Cuffs shattering into millions of pieces (which abruptly disappear) while the Fire Android's arms flail around happily.
Don facepalms as the camera zooms in on the Akibarangers.